Bug Warrior
What do you say about the guy who goes for the low hanging fruit?
I am very fortunate in that the person, with whom I spend the most time, is an amazing ham. He’s most funny when he isn’t trying to be although seeing his impression of what can only be described as a misguided male Hollywood vixen is life changing.
Let your imagination run wild. The real thing is undoubtedly worse.
One of the things that make this gift special is that I can take him anywhere. His calm buttoned down demeanor, clean appearance and crisp diction allow for some impressive moments when no one is looking and the mirage suddenly falls away.
Not far behind is Little “Beanty” Guy. His humor belies his species and derives from his ability and frequent desire to communicate so clearly the actions we need to take to right the perceived wrongs in his world.
So imagine, a highly communicative short hairy guy with limited intelligence playing straight man to a genteel looking six foot ham with a fuzzy commitment to dignity – and you have a pretty good idea of the company I keep.
Their relationship isn’t complex. Their methods of communication aren’t either. They play simple games; games like kill the bug. Eating is a bonus.
There’s no end to the delight they share exploring the challenges and tastes of a new bug.
Usually, one will bring to the other’s attention, the presence of a single lowly bug. Thus starts the game. Here, the straight man begins to meow erratically, calling for the stooge to set a pick and roll.
The stooge then picks up the chase, swatting at it with open palms knocking it off balance and bringing it closer to the ground. With the Beanty on his heels, the ever faithful stooge begins chanting a chorus of, “Get it Beanty. Get it.”
The smaller one is worked into a warrior’s state of froth, albeit a slightly uncoordinated one as he continuously loses track of the less intelligent bug and calls for another pick and roll.
This scene occurs repeatedly, going from room to room with the stooge occasionally assisting the small hunter by elevating him to various heights, all the while chanting the warrior’s call of, “Get it. Get it.”
Predictably, a pitfall ensues. The stooge has also been worked into a frothy state and eventually knocks the bug unconscious, leaving the bug warrior to assume a false victory. The bug warrior consumes his meal, sometimes preferring to chew it and spit it, ending the game.
Delightful though it may sound, the game has a peculiar effect on the bug hunter. Anyone in the room with a bug becomes de facto stooge as the bug warrior is ineffectual hunting alone. The bug warrior is also left with the expectation that he need not expend precious calories on giving chase to anything that may be more than 12 inches away, requiring little more than a hop.
What do you say about the guy who goes for the low hanging fruit? Nothing. Sometimes, you just bend the bow a little further.
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