Cat Communication Glossary

Every cat communicates with the world to navigate its surroundings.

Although the origins are disputed, cat language is both mystical and complex with every cat speaking a unique version.

Translated here are several of the more common words from this little known cat language.

Should you come across a word or phrase unknown to you, Beanty’s Cat Communication Glossary serves as the definitive source for those seeking to learn more about this interesting dialect.

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Babachoolowe: n., 1. Beanty; 2. Beanty’s alter ego

Beefcake (-ing): v., the use of highly suggestive behavior to induce a servile cooing state in humans: primary method includes laying on the back with extended displays of soft underbelly coupled with paws curved under in a bunny like fashion

Bunnyhop (-ping): v., the sudden launching into the air from a standing position: can be employed with deadly force

Catku: n., the art of poetry spoken by cats expressing their inner thoughts in 20 syllables or less

Chittering: v., the unknown God given spastic vocal reaction relayed upon watching prey from an unconquerable distance

Churtle (-ing): v., secondary mode of communication involving short bursts of acrobatic vocalizations, grunts and head gestures

Concubine-boy: n., low man on the totem pole, subservient to cat and ladygirl; gender neutral title usually describes husband or some other low ranking persons

Crazy Eye: v., the buildup and subsequent explosion of excessive nervous energy displayed through fits of skin twitching, rapid blinking, deranged meows and frenzied running; acute cases may exhibit all symptoms simultaneously

Dingleberry (ies): n., small pieces of hardened irregular shaped feces dried to the fur and backside after an especially rumpus and satisfying poo

Divo: n., 1. prima donna (male form); 2. star

Femanity: n., 1. human qualities possessed by cats including awareness, individuality and emotional resonance; 2. a mix of awareness and personality found in felines that closely parallels the human condition

Ladygirl: n., title reserved for a woman who fights with a cat for alpha status within a household

Mastercat: n., a cat who has attained the highest order of entitlement, narcissism and charm possible

Parting the Sea: v., the daring strategic placement of paws and maneuvering of weight necessary to alter the position of sleeping bodies in order to form a warm crevice in which to rest

Pigeòn: n., 1. succulent bird flesh possessing hypnotic properties able to induce a pig-like state and momentary obedience; 2. aphrodisiac

Real. Cat talk.
Glossary updated regularly.